SEP: Doing The Hard Work Of Forgiveness
Why is forgiveness so hard? Forgiveness involves more than dealing with the action of another. It is also about what the other person’s action conveyed to us about ourselves. Whatever the offense, it has triggered the accumulation of past wounds that reinforces the shame that we want to suppress. Moreover, forgiveness is not a natural act, but a supernatural one that is possible because we have received it from God. Forgiveness is more than a strategy to feel better. It is a way to grow in experiencing his grace and power that affirms and transforms our very identity.
This month’s tool will help you care for those who say they can’t forgive or for those that have forgiven, but can’t seem to move on. It will help you walk people through the process of forgiveness with curiosity and patience.
Judy Cha, Ph.D., LMFT
Director and Counselor